My Leather Endeavor

My High School lit teacher, Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator, females in a heist and the vast majority of bikers and pilots. This is a group that shares little in common. There is, however, one thing that strings them all together.

That's right, 

Leather Jackets. 

And just recently I got so close to buying one at a local Dillard's that it made me question why I haven't considered one before. Turns out, there is a long, deep subconscious reason why. And thus begins tonights post...

First, let's just get this fact out there. Leather jackets look good. Period. I don't care who you are. I've seen people of all shapes and sizes that, upon sporting leather, have transformed into an entirely new person. For instance, the two shots below were part of a 1992 experiment taken to study the effects of leather-wearing. 

The first picture is of the subject without a leather jacket. Notice too, that he is wearing a jacket, but not a leather one. 

The subject seems rather unpleasant and a bit confused. Typical for non-leather wearers. 

Moments later scientist then provide a leather jacket to the same man -causing an instantaneous reaction.  

They still don't know where she came from. 

Apart from the obvious good-looking nature of the leathered man, the most important thing to notice is the confidence in which leather jackets bring. 

Go watch any action movie. Literally ANY of them. They'll all feature a leathered man. And whether it's just a cultural thing or not, us American boys grow up watching good guys kick the bad guys butt, all while wearing you know what. So looking back, I think it's safe to say that I've always wanted a leather jacket, but I just didn't know I wanted one. That is till last week when Carmon and I went to Dillard's to look at jackets. 

Now, our move to Japan is coming up soon, and the AET's (Assistant English Teachers) there said that April is surprisingly cold. So, being that everything in Japan is 4 times the price here, we thought we should take advantage of the coat sales at Dillard's, especially since my $80 Target jacket is falling apart only after a year of use! 

Pronounced "moron-a"

The "Sale"

Aside from the apparent lack of build-strenght, I've enjoyed my Target coat. Heavy, black, wool, interior and exterior pockets... add a scarf and I'm as metro as they come. 

*Add mug to increase trendiness. 

So when I went into Dillard's, that's really all I was wanting. Just a replacement of the one I've got. And like the heading suggests, there was a sale. 50% off the lowest marked price. Keep in mind we're on the tail end of winter and at that time they had been marked down like two or three times, which means if we were to buy one of the jackets now ...we'd still be getting ripped off. BUT... at least we're not getting as ripped off as we would if the sale weren't happening (or so my wife puts it). I sort of see the justification. Sort of. Regardless, we're there, we're looking for coats, we'll spend the money. 

Then, all of the sudden, Carmon walks up with something. 

Something intimidating. 

Something rugged, sleek and Sexy. 

Something, that at one time... moo'd. 

T'was a leather jacket.

As I've said already, I didn't, nor have I ever really wanted a leather jacket. But for some reason this one was beckoning me. I dismissed the idea at first. But as the night went on, I found my mind wandering back to it. I tried to ignore it, then I fought it... but as I strolled passed the countless aisles and racks of clearance coats and price-cut parka's... I knew... I knew that I had to go back. 

So I did. 

And as I slid my arms through those cold satin lined sleeves a bond was formed. A bond unlike any thing today...  More like the days of old, when dragon and slayer formed a truce, so too did the leather and I. 

"You're not by chance a medium, are you?" 

Reflecting in the mirror, there I stood, leather jacket and all. It felt good of course, but the real kicker was how well it fit. Not too loose but not too tight. My new emergent belly seemed to disappear behind the cool dark brown hide. Whether through allusion or miracle, this jacket gave the appearance I was in shape. I modeled it for my wife, and I could tell by the look on her face that she too thought it was a winner. 

"Why had I never looked into leather before?" I thought, "It's soooo nice!" 

The more I wore it in the store the heavier it got. Not in it's weight though... but in it's burden. Like Frodo carrying the ring, I was beginning to feel the responsibility and expectations that comes with a leather jacket.  Do I have what it takes? 

I can't fight. 

I can't drive above 45 on a motorcycle without freaking out.

I can't fly a plane or dodge bullets. 

Reality, my friends, was sinking in. If I can't do any of those things then I don't deserve a leather jacket. But then I thought, "maybe the reason I can't do those things is because I don't have a leather jacket." Yes! That's it. Surely once I get one, those things will come to fruition. Surely. I started to justify the buy in my head. But there was one problem...

The Price

Marked down three times and half off that price it still came to something like $150. It looked good. But as I started to check out I was thinking practicalities. Will this awesome looking peace of clothing keep me warm in freezing, rainy, snowy Japanese weather? 

Gulp. 

I couldn't bring myself to get it. As much as I wanted it I just couldn't do it. What I need is something like what I had. The Metro, not the moto. So, that night, even after all that bonding... I left the jacket there, unable to convince myself of adoption. 

65% off my butt!

Days later and the darned thing is still on my mind! By this time, I've spoken with my mother about said jacket and weaseled my way into her checkbook. She willingly offered to help me with my leather endeavor in which case I accepted. Upon further queries upon Dillard's website I found that the 50% off sale had changed to a 65% off sale. It was a sign from the almighty himself! 

"Great savings I declare!"

Well, come to find out, that 65% off was really 65% off original price. The prior sale was 50% off lowest marked price. Ultimately that means I would have had to pay $50 more for the 65% off sale! WHAT!?!?! Who makes a sale go up? I'll tell you who... DILLARDS! No way in the world was I going to pay that extra $50! 

It was a bummer to say the least, but hey, that's what you get when you read God out of context.  

So all that to say that I never bought the jacket. 

BUT... there is still hope. 

For as I was walking out of Dillard's that night a salesman told me the original sale would be back on this thursday. 

Am I going back? 

What do you think?

For I can still hear that jacket calling my name. 

Reminding me of the covenant we made that one fateful night. 

I dream of the day we will be reunited, and I hope 'tis soon.