A Japanese Guide

A Guide to Visiting Japan for our friends and family:
(with more pics to come)

The first (and most important) thing to understand is that we are “gaijin” or, as we say in English, foreigners, outsiders, strangers, etc. In the Japanese language, this is actually a negative term. I've only heard a Japanese person call me this once. He wasn't at all trying to be rude, he was just very surprised when he looked up and saw a foreigner. It just flew out of his mouth, "look, a gaijin!"
The point is that the Japanese understand that we do not know all of their customs, and they tend to be forgiving of our mistakes. I say that so you are not overwhelmed by the long list you're about to read. If you do not remember all of these, you won't be in as much trouble as you may think. They don’t expect us to get much of this right, and are pleasantly surprised when we do. 

Public Transportation (Bus & Train):

• Cell phones on silent, always
• Quiet voices
• People sleep. They sleep in every position: sitting, standing, slouching, etc. You won’t believe it. Don’t be worried that something is wrong. It’s just the way it is. 
• There are reserved seats for the elderly, pregnant, and handicapped. Usually there is a sign above the seats. If the sign doesn’t have English, it will have pictures. Another way to tell which seats are reserved is by the seat cushions or floor space under the seats. The cushions or floor will often be a different color than the rest of the bus/train. This isn’t always the case though, so pay attention.

Bathrooms:

• Only push the buttons on the toilets if you’re feeling risky. You may get a surprise that you’re not in position for. Now sometimes there is no handle for flushing. Rather, there is a button on the wall for flushing. 
• In some public bathrooms, there is a button that will make a flushing sound. Yes this is the strangest thing (especially when it has a motion sensor and starts by surprise). It's function: to mask your potty noises. It is installed to prevent users from flushing the actual toilet & wasting water.
• Flush nothing but toilet paper! I'm told they don’t have the most advanced plumbing. I don't know if this is true, but I do know they’re all about recycling everything recyclable, and tend to be very mindful of their trash. Please do NOT use the toilet for flushing anything other than toilet tissue.
• Speaking of tissue, those packets of tissue people are handing to you at the station with little ads on the side of them… those are gold! Have a little pack in every bag. Not all public restrooms have toilet paper. Those little packs of tissue are lifesavers.
• Men & women alike: get those squat muscles in gear.
• Yes, if you have a poop emergency, fella’s, you may not have the privilege to search for a bathroom with a western potty. Obviously, urinals won’t take care of this problem for you and a squatty potty will be all you have. It all depends on where you are.
• Speaking of squatties: when you use it,
1. face the handle. It sounds like anyone would know this, but you’d be surprised. I fell into the door numerous times while trying to reach the toilet paper that was behind me. Finally, another AET told me I was using it backwards after hearing me slam my face into the door. My logic was my back goes to the handle on a western toilet, so it must be the same on squatties. Nope. This information has made this a much easier experience.
2. Hike up your pant legs. I know. Ew. But that’s what I was told and I didn’t want to explore with further questions. I can guess easy enough as to why. I guess if I can make a mess, so can someone else. (I’ve actually heard that men take off their trousers and hang them on the door to avoid their types of mess).
3. Don’t be afraid to really get over the thing or you might miss.
4. Don’t get TOO far over it our you may over shoot. It’s like goldilocks.. you’ve got to get it “just right”.
5. Be prepared to mess up a little your first (or every) time. Try to have a good sense of humor about it. All of us "gaijins" despise them.

• Have hand sanitizer. Not all bathrooms have soap.
• Have a small hand towel. It is very rare for a bathroom to have paper towels, and not all bathrooms have hand dryers. Again, the Japanese are very trash and energy efficient.

Restaurants/Eating Etiquette:

• Some restaurant employees may yell at you when you walk by or enter. Don’t be frightened. All restaurants say the same thing, some just louder than others. “Come in!!!”  ^___^   How do you respond? Just smile back or nod your head.
• Most restaurants have plastic displays of their menu for you to view outside of their restaurant. This is AWESOME, because most menus are not in English. Or if they do have English, it isn’t very detailed. So take a good look before entering. If you can’t read the menu you can just choose whatever plastic dish looks tasty.



((ping pong))

• Some restaurants require you to push a button (or what I call, ping pong) when you’re ready to order. The waiter/waitress does not approach your table unless you have “rang the bell” so to speak. I personally love this! Service in Japan is OUTSTANDING. So if the waiter has done nothing but bring you water, please don’t assume that you’re receiving bad service. There is probably a button hiding on your table. They’re giving you all the time you need to decide what you want.
• If dining with Japanese friends, do not begin eating or drinking until everyone has been served. Then say “Itadakimaus.” Translation: thanks for the food & those who prepared it.
• You will usually be provided with a wet towel. Use it for your hands, and nothing else if you can help it. To wipe your face is a little taboo.
• Elbows off of the table, please.
• It is considered polite to hold your bowl rather than lean over it. But don’t worry about it too much if the bowl is too hot.
• When everyone has finished say, “gochisosamadeshita” – thanks for the great meal & service!
• No tipping. anywhere! It’s actually offensive to do so. So even if you are especially grateful for the service, just thank them heavily (“Gochiso samadeshita. Domo arigato gozaimus.”) and bow low. 
• Extra: eating on the go is frowned upon. Don’t be surprised if you get shot with the stink eye while walking down the street with your coffee and donut in hand. Their main concern: you may litter. 

Chopsticks:

•  First, know that it is okay to ask for a fork or spoon if you aren’t comfortable with the chopsticks. Most places do provide the option.
• Do not stick the chopsticks straight down into rice during a rest between bites. This action is only used at memorial/funeral services. Awwkkkwwarrd. Rest them on the side of your bowl/plate instead.
• Don’t stab with chopsticks if you can help it. Cutting is appropriate. But limit stabbing.
• Don’t lick chopsticks. The reason for this is that it’s simply rude. Nothing to do with splinters in the tongue.
• OH! Speaking of splinters, DO NOT rub your chopsticks together. It implies that the sticks are cheap and is offensive.
• When you have soup, eat the veggies, etc, with the chopsticks first. Then drink the broth. You can use the chopsticks to help guide any veggies/tofu in the bowl to your mouth.
• If eating from a communal dish, use the opposite end of the sticks (where your mouth does not touch) to pick up food from the shared dish.

Shopping:

•   Shops close at times that seem early to us Americans. Be polite, and be conscious of the time. (the same goes for restaurants!)
•  most department stores & boutiques are leaning on the expensive side. Just fyi. 
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Bowing:

• The Japanese don’t shake hands really. If they are comfortable with the American custom, they may extend their hand to you. This is a special occasion and usually a nice invitation to converse. Otherwise, I think touching is a rather personal thing here. Bowing is favored.
• If you bow, you will blow them away. Bowing is so serious they even do it on the phone! It sounds like it’d be easy to do, but when the moment comes to bow it actually can get very awkward or intimidating. Should you choose to give it a try do the following…
• Women: both hands in front of lap when bowing. Hands stacked.
•  Men: both hands at sides.
•   Bow at waist. Head down. Eye contact before the bow and after the bow. During the bow, the eyes should be cast downward.

Miscellaneous:

• Trashcans are few and far between! Yet litter is not common. Be sure you are carrying a bag that you can keep your trash in until you find the appropriate waste basket for your designated trash. Almost all trashcans are recycle cans. Do your best to separate the combustibles from the non-combustibles. 
• Stand on the left side of the escalator & keep your arms close to your body. “Right lane is for passing ONLY.” People in a rush to catch their train or get to work will be flying past, so watch out!
•  If someone offers a gift to you, accept with both hands and a slight bow. (The Japanese are gift-givers! I’ve had so many strangers give me things. Anywhere between origami to desserts. It happens often and on various levels. At the same time, don’t go anywhere expecting anything).
• Some Japanese folk may appear rude or unfriendly, but most times they’re intimidated and just really shy. Say “Konichiwa!” anyway. Many times they light up with a surprised smile.
• If you think someone is being rude, you’re probably misinterpreting. It isn’t common that someone is overtly rude. It’s greatly frowned upon in their culture.
•  Japanese law says you must have ID on you at all times. This may mean your passports. You don’t have to worry so much about being mugged in Japan, so don’t feel too uncomfortable doing this if necessary. 
• Now I say, you don’t have to worry about being mugged (or much crime at all for the matter), but do not take that as a cue to be careless. Theft, murder, etc still happen in Japan. Folks tell you not to worry because the crime rate is very low. Nonetheless, always be aware of your surroundings. Weirdos are in every country, city, and neighborhood.
• You will be stared at everywhere you go in Japan. How noticeable this is will depend on where you are in Japan. For example, in Tokyo people are use to seeing foreigners. In every other town you may get the repeated quick glances, or the full on, wide eyed stare. It isn’t a threat. Try not to be put off or made uncomfortable by it. Japan is the most homogenous country in the world. Seeing someone different is very interesting.
•  Places close early. Therefore, bathrooms are inaccessible at late hours. The man standing off alone against the building or underneath the stairs is not pouring out his bottle of tea that he didn’t finish during the day. So don’t stare, and don’t get too close. (Japan is a very clean country. This is the one thing that may make you think otherwise).
•  Just because someone is wearing a mask, don’t assume they have some deadly illness. They may have a major pimple to hide. Unless they are hacking and coughing, don’t feel like you have to distance yourself. Even if they are sick, they’re wearing it for YOUR protection. Not their own. (SARS is long gone, so please don’t worry with any of that.)

Gestures:

• Pointing to one’s nose is a way of referring to one’s self
• Waving the hand in front of the nose is signaling “no” (unlike the American interpretation of “something stinks”)
• A hand in the air, palm down, waving as if to “shoo” you away or ask you to “back up” actually means “come here” or “come closer.” Americans gesture this with the palm facing up. It is the other way around here though.

(Please comment if anything was interesting, odd, or helpful to you).