Resolve

Since we've moved to Japan I've come to appreciate certain things. Like, for instance, the community a church body offers and (more specifically) what a small group of trusted friends can provide for a weary soul. Carmon and I were (are?) members of Bridgeway Church in OKC before we left. And one great thing I've taken away from that place is their focus and encouragement of D-groups. The D's for Discipleship. Call it a house church, a home group, a core gathering or whatever. That makes no difference. The purpose of such a group is to, like the name suggests, be a discipleship tool. With a small group of friends and in a completely open and trusting environment, the group provides a place for you to air your frustrations, concerns, disbeliefs, sins, joys and triumphs you might--- no, you're undoubtedly dealing with. 

In OKC I met with three other guys every week at a pub to talk about such things and to encourage one another. And, I can honestly say, it was one of the most rewarding and challenging experiences of my life. So, leaving my guys was a bitter thing to do and I miss them an awfully lot. However, in His grace and mercy, God's allowed such a gathering to reoccur with two new faces these past 4 months in Japan. 

When we met this week we sort of focused our conversation towards the idea of setting goals in life. We all came to the conclusion that we tend to let life just happen and go with the flow. "Going with the flow" is something I actually take pride in -to a certain extant. You see, I'm not somebody who has schemed the rest of this year, month, week or even this day out. I see myself as living within a set of boundaries that my conscious has agreed upon and whatever happens throughout the day I deal with within those margins. There's nothing wrong with that I don't think. My guess is that a lot of people live life that way for the most part. Perhaps in their head there's some vague end goal of buying a house and raising a family or something along those lines, but beyond that... Nothing. Just live life as it comes at you. Spiritually speaking, I'm the same way. But instead of a house and family it's some general thought about evangelizing more.

The problem is, evangelism won't ever happen if I just go with the flow. In fact, there's nothing more against the flow than being called to Christ. Which is why it is so essential that I sit down, with my wife, of course, to think hard, pray about, and discern what it is I want my life to look like. What am I ultimately living for? Who do I want to become? Where do I want to be in 5, 10, 25, even 30 years down the road? Where should I find fulfillment and meaning? And what things do I need to start doing NOW to make those a reality? 

Some of those answers might seem a bit obvious being that I'm a Christian. But, I don't anticipate a change in my life, whether for good or worse, till I sit down and truly think on things like this that actually matter. It's too easy for me to fill up my hours with day dreams of the next iPhone or DC movie. 

My hopes and dreams of tomorrow must be more than some vague intangible though. If I can't visualize, recognize and verbalize what it is I'm living for than I'll continue to float in a lukewarm river that takes me nowhere.

My hope in the next coming months is to reassess where my life's foundation is (the work of Christ on the cross) and truly discern what obedience to my King looks like. 

Who knows how much time I have left on this Earth... 

But I resolve to spend that time in pursuit of knowing Him who created me.